Legend of the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth
by Bri Yami-neko
Summary: Just a little bit of insanity... Legend has it that the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth fiercely guards his beloved treasure. So, of course, Wolverine, Kurt, and Rogue all have to try to get it. The MMS, however, isn't exactly as ferocious as everyone thinks


Disclaimer: Well, until my plans for World Domination are finished, I don't own X-Men Evolution. But soon! Bwahaha! So very soon!  
  
Author's Note: No, I'm not insane. Really. This short little fic was born after a conversation between me and my best friend after school.Yeah, now I realize how pathetic that sounds. Anywho, yes, this is AU. And OOC. But it's fun, anyway? Oh, excuse the accents, by the way. I figured I'd give 'em a try despite the fact that I'm not terribly good at them. And after you're done reading, you can click on the pretty little button at the bottom that lets you review! Yeah!  
  
The Legend of the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth  
  
In a far off land, Wolverine set out on a great and noble-well, great, anyhow-quest to find the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth's most valuable treasure. Legend had it that the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth hoarded a treasure so precious to him that he killed all who entered his lair. That didn't seem to faze Wolverine, though, for he entered the vast cave without further thought. Actually, he was quite terrified, but there was, of course, the treasure.  
As Wolverine crept into the cave, a huge room loomed before him with a small, frightening-looking trail off of the end of the room. Luckily, Wolverine didn't need to go down it, for in the very center of the room was a huge black chest with a large gold lock. Wolverine knelt down beside the chest, pulled a hairpin from his hair, and proceeded to pick the lock. After about an hour, it finally clicked open. Holding his breath, Wolverine slowly opened the great chest to reveal...Hundreds of buckets of honey butter.  
"Honey butter? All that for.Honey butter?" Wolverine asked in disbelief.  
A loud roar came from the trail, and within moments, a tiny little fuzzy kitten scurried on top of the chest.  
"Back! Back! It's miiiiine." He hissed, standing up on his hind legs and lashing out with his tiny claws. "I bite your ear off!"  
Wolverine stared at him. "You're the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth?"  
"Yes! I am TERRIBLE!! You are scared! Ahh!" the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth launched himself at Wolverine and scrambled all over his head, clawing and scratching and not really hurting him. After a few moments, he plopped onto the honey butter and sniffled. "I'm really only stuck in here because there's no one to move my honey butter for me..I can't do it." He crawled down to the floor, wrapped his tail around the handle, and started running as fast as he could. He got no where, though, and ended up digging a hole in the ground. "See? Can you help me move it? I'll be your best friend and follow you everywhere."  
"Umm.I don't think I /want/ you following me everywhere." Wolverine replied, walking towards the entrance of the cave. A huge rock door suddenly thudded down in front of him. Wolverine blinked, then turned back to the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth.  
"Wrong answer." He beamed. "Now you're going to have to stay here and be my side-kick!"  
"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"  
  
~*~  
  
This is where our heroes come in. We focus in on the city of Bayville, Massachusetts, or, more specifically, the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters. Professor Xavier had just finished reading the story of the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth aloud to the students and Kurt, being hyped up on Pixie Stix, decided he would go off in search for the treasure. When he looked for a companion, only Rogue had no excuse to leave the room quickly, and thus was stuck going on the quest. Although, she had to admit, the idea of a treasure was very intriguing.  
And so, the two friends set off for the lair of the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth, sure that their powers would protect them from any harm. When they reached the place where the entrance to the great cave was supposed to be, they found instead, a large rock. After examining said rock for some time, Kurt grew tired and leaned against it. Much to his surprise, the rock began to lift! Soon, the entrance to the cave was right in front of them.  
Rogue and Kurt silently entered the cave, spotting immediately the large chest at the center. They had only just gotten there when there was a tremendous roar from behind them. They whirled around and saw the shadow of a huge sabertooth's head, roaring loudly. It disappeared, and two giant paws reached for them. They backed away, bumping into the chest. With no more room left to back up, they waited for the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth to emerge..  
And there he came out of the darkness, in all his six inch height and cute fuzziness. He reared up at them, hissing.  
"Stay away from my treasure!"  
Kurt and Rogue glanced at each other.  
"Tha Monstrous Monstah Sabretooth is ah little kittahn?" Rogue asked.  
"I am not a kitten! I am the Monstrous Monster Sabretooth! And this is.." He paused. When nothing happened, he said again, "And this is." When still nothing happened, he flicked his tail in annoyance. "Say your part!"  
A rather short man with metal claws popping out of his knuckles stepped out and sighed. "The Monstrous Monster Sabretooth's side-kick, Woeful Wolverine." He repeated with no enthusiasm what so ever.  
The Monstrous Monster Sabretooth, however, was very enthused. "Welcome to my cave! You'll be staying here for quite some time." He scampered over to the chest.  
"Noo! Run! Run, while you still can!" Wolverine screeched to Kurt and Rogue.  
The two mutants turned for the entrance just in time to see the rock slam down.  
"Too late." Wolverine sighed.  
"Can ve at least see vhat ze treasure ees?" Kurt asked.  
The Monstrous Monster Sabretooth considered. "I suppose." He flipped open the lid, showing the buckets of honey butter.  
"Honey buttah?" Rogue asked.  
"Yup!" The Monstrous Monster Sabretooth scurried into the chest, drawing out a small bucket and hugging it. "I luuuuuuuurrvvvv my honey butter." He then started bouncing.  
"Oh, no. No. Not the song again." Wolverine murmured.  
"Song? Vhat song?" Kurt questioned.  
"You'll see.."  
"I've got a lovely bunch of honey butter..Diddly-diddly-dee, there they are standing in a row, bump bump bump, big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!" The Monstrous Monster Sabretooth sang, incredibly off- key and continuing to bounce.  
All three mutants covered their ears with their hands.  
"Oh, Lahd.Make it stahp.." Rogue muttered, trying to block out the sound.  
"How do ve get him to shut up?" Kurt asked.  
"No idea! You wanna figure it out, bub?" Wolverine said hopefully.  
The Monstrous Monster Sabretooth overhead them. "Oh, you three are meanieheads. Fine. I can see where I'm not wanted. Hmph." He turned up his nose and sniffed, then walked off, little kitten tail high in the air.  
There was silence for a moment.  
"Now vhat?" Kurt asked.  
"Now we sit here until he forgets why he's mad and comes out, or new people try to steal his treasure." Wolverine replied.  
"This is all yar fahlt, ya know." Rogue informed Kurt.  
"Me? Vhy ees eet my fault?" Kurt demanded.  
"This was yar stupahd ideah in tha first place!" Rogue replied.  
They continued to bicker and argue while Wolverine sighed and sat on the floor, resting his head in his hands.  
"Why me...?" He asked, staring up at the ceiling.  
  
Author's Note #2: Okee! That's it! Yay! Tell me if you think I should write a sequel or another chappie, okay? Just put it in the review you know you want to go write. *nudgenudge* 


End file.
